Years ago people sometimes said that couples getting married were ‘getting spliced’. Splicing ropes means getting all the strands connected. Christians talk about people having three strands – body, mind and soul. Creating and maintaining all of those makes for a really strong connection. And all three are things which change and develop.
If lovemaking is exactly the same after ten years of marriage, it probably means the connection is weakening. As time goes by, we all talk differently, and sex is the language of love.
The way we think, the issues that matter most to us also move. We may know what our partner used to think about something, but we need constant updates.
Hopefully the soul is also an area for constant change. However little or much we believe, we are on a spiritual journey, and those journeys will happen at different times and in different ways for each individual. Sharing our journeys doesn’t mean we have to be at the same place, but we do need to know where each other is.
People sometimes talk of someone being ‘well-connected’. That is probably sheer snobbery. But what we can all work at is being really well-connected to our partner, in body mind and soul.
Mothers’ Union is very grateful to the author of Growing Together: A guide for couples getting married Andrew Body, for kindly writing this article for our website.